Fear of Flying (by wire)

The Joy of One Fingered Steering

I have been through a winter hurricane in mid-Atlantic and enjoyed the ride.  I have walked through a construction facility filled with approximately 24 million dollars’ worth of vessels to our designs and suffered nary a stomach butterfly.  I have spun my beloved XKE Jaguar late at night on Long Island’s Route 25A and walked away with a great appreciation for steering into the direction of the spin.  I have stared down the barrel of a sawed-off shotgun during a robbery and discovered an inner calm.  Hell, I have even sat quietly in the passenger seat while my wife drove!  I am not saying I have never been scared – I absolutely have been (many times) but it takes more than the above to get my pump fluttering. 

So I stand here today to tell you that I am scared and I will tell you why.  Sadman Insane stirring things up in Iraq again?  Five hundred points a day stock market “dips?” Disease carrying mosquitos in South Florida?  Nah, this is all piddling stuff.  The scary part is this: I just read that electronic steering and electronic engine controls are being introduced for use in small outboard boats.  God help us all. 

Creeping Blackboxism

I have never been a big fan of the inclusion of electronics in every dammed thing we deal with in our lives.  I call this “creeping blackboxism” and I have written prolifically about it in the past.  Disbursed throughout this piece are quotes from past articles on the subject such as this gem: 

“You know when you were a kid in High School there always these skinny guys in your class with squeaky voices, glasses and pimples?  These were the “90-pound weaklings” that got sand kicked in their faces on the beach.  These were the guys who buttoned the top button of their shirts and struck out with the girls and carried big black lunch boxes to school.  These were the guys who stayed home studying while the rest of us were driving fast cars and chasing bad women.  Well, these guys grew up with a great resentment toward the rest of the world and a vengeance to get even. These are the guys that, when they grew up, became computer technicians.  And now, the world is nearly theirs.”

Let’s talk about electronic steering for outboard boats.  Of course, boatbuilders love this kind of thing because it saves them bundles of money.  Instead of rigging push pull cables or hydraulics, making complicated mechanical connections at each end then adjusting the whole mashup, little green and red and purple and orange wires run from the steering wheel to the outboard motor servo – cheap and easy to install for sure. I am certain that this system is as reliable and fool proof as possible.  The company that developed it is a world-renowned firm famous for its reliable steering and engine control systems so I take it for granted that the controls are well engineered.  The engineering and development is not what worries me.  What concerns me is maintenance. 

The Dreaded Green Crud

“Let’s face it, electronic stuff on boats was never any great shakes.  From the time the first light bulb was hooked up to a primitive battery at sea, man has been fighting the dreaded green electrical crud. I am talking simple electrical stuff here like a positive and negative wire connected to a 6-volt light bulb.  Electrical connections in a harsh, salt-water marine environment slowly turn to caca.  The difference is that, back then, if you lost a light it was no big deal but, nowadays with electrical systems controlling the engine throttle, clutch and, maybe steering, it is another matter entirely.”

There have been some spectacular accidents amongst large commercial vessels and motor yachts due to electronic control/steering failures. A big Scandinavian catamaran fast ferry went up on the beach at full speed completely out of control when all steering and engine controls (including the backups) failed. That might ruin your whole day.

There have been numerous “fender benders” in the motor yacht world.  Mostly collisions from boat to boat or boat to dock at slow speeds due to failure of the electronic steering, electronic controls, or both.  Now, remember, these vessels usually carry a trained engineer who can diagnose and fix problems and who, more importantly, constantly maintains his vessel’s systems.  Eight years ago, I expressed concern when these electronic gizmos filtered down into midsize vessels that don’t carry an engineer.  

I was concerned then but I am scared stiff now seeing electronic steering and controls installed in small, high-speed runabouts that can be easily steered with one finger!  If these systems fail on yachts which coddle their black boxes and servos sequestered in nice, dry cabins or enginerooms can you imagine what will happen in little runabouts completely open to the weather that usually receive little or no maintenance whatsoever?  These fast, pesky gnat boats are always buzzing in, and around larger vessels at high speed. Sometimes things go wrong and these gnats collide with each other or larger craft. Usually the people in the little runabouts are hurt, maimed or worse. 

Grunt if You Like Clevises

When I specified the equipment on my latest boat, I thought long and hard about the engine controls.  The fact is, steering is secondary on a twin-screw boat ¬– reliable engine controls are everything because you can steer with them as well as maneuver.  That is why I specified mechanical controls for my boat – Burly Kobelt controls that utilize heavy-duty push pull cables, chains and sprockets.  

“You can’t look at a printed circuit board and see if there is a problem.  You can’t “see” what is going on inside those funny little diodes and chips.”

No Sir, when I look at my controls, I want to see hunks of metal and mechanical stuff like:  CHAINS, SPROCKETS, CRANKS, NUTS, BOLTS, CLEVISES, BELLCRANKS, LEVERS, PUSH RODS, BALL JOINTS, BEARINGS, SETSCREWS, ETC. (you can grunt now if you feel like doing so).  When something important breaks, I want to be able to look at it and determine visually what the problem is and come up with a fix (usually by using coat hangers, hose clamps, tape and a big, big hammer).

And so, friends, when, sometime soon, you see a 14-year-old pimply faced kid running circles around your boat in a 15-foot outboard at 40-knots while steering with one finger, first take defensive action (get the hell away as fast as you can) and then take offensive action (like showing him a finger of your own).

(Reprinted with permission of Regina Fexas.)

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