Ruffling Feathers, Part 2

Caustic Comments on Calcimine Craft

Last month I told you about a rebel who christened his new motoryacht with a very unusual name. This month we discuss shaking up the yachting establishment with color. When was the last time you saw a major motor vessel (or any vessel) with a hull finished in a color other than WHITE? (Yes, I know, white is not technically a color).

Beware of the Color Police

Since the dawn of pleasure boat development, hulls have always been lily white. To this day, this lemming like attitude toward boat colors results in marinas which, when viewed from a distance, appear to be sun bleached Greek Islands! A marina when viewed from a distance should look like a flower garden -- not a plate of rice. The whiteness is overwhelming and, by the way, extremely boring. A “white plague” has spread throughout the boating scene. According to an informal poll conducted by that August Research firm Thomas, Eli and Fexas, 96% OF ALL MOTORVESSELS SUFFER FROM THE WHITE PLAGUE.

Just peruse the brokerage section in this magazine if you question me. The Water Closet of Boring Sameness -- think about it! Most large vessels are owned by successful individuals who pride themselves on innovation: Making bold moves, driving their firms to stand out from the pack. CREATIVITY! That is what made this country great. 

In most cases, this creativity and individuality spills over into these individuals’ personal lives manifesting itself in many different ways: Custom aqua Tony Lama boots with inset pink flamingos; a custom cobalt metal flake paint job on the Testarossa; a pastel green and coral home. And what about the god-awful clothes boat people are prone to wear? I am talking about those tri-colored deck shoes, bilious green pants with little propellers emblazoned on them and shirts that look like a damned snow cone! When it comes to selecting a color for their magnificent motor vessel, however, creative juices funnel down the water closet of boring sameness.

Henry Ford, as we all know, dictated to the American car buying public “you can have any color Model T so long as it is black.” Today, Mr. Ford’s attitude is looked upon as very narrow minded, provincial and arcane. Can you imagine your Lexus or Jaguar dealer imposing such rules today? But the fact is, right now, most big boat manufacturers are doing the same damned thing that Henry Ford did. If you don’t believe this, try sashaying up to you friendly, local big boat dealer and order a black sportfish or a red motoryacht from the factory.

Why White?

So how did we arrive at this sad state of affairs? What caused this blanc blandness to pervade in our marinas and anchorages? One reason is that, in the days of yore (yore father and yore grandfather), yachts were built predominantly of wood (you remember wood -- that brown fibery stuff that comes from trees in the forest). 

Wooden hulls painted any color other than white absorbed heat from the sun, dried out planking and shrank fastening bungs causing them to fall out (believe me, nobody likes to have their bungs shrink and fall out!) This made smooth topsides look like an old orange crate. Also, in early boating days, multiple paint colors were not readily available -- the first boats probably used white lead. So, back then, it was functional to paint one’s topsides white.

There were also other reasons: Darker colors made imperfections stand out like a zit on Mona Lisa’s nose. Nothing can be hidden on a dark hull and this is the foremost reason most boat manufacturers refuse to offer their products in anything but lily white. A white unfair hull can look OK but that same hull painted black will look like mirrors in a fun house! 

What about decks? Have you ever seen a deck that is anything but white? Deck colors have gone through a transformation over the years. In the 30’s and 40’s, buff decks proliferated, in the early 50’s dark blue decks predominated and, in the late 50’s a color called “Trojan Green” was very popular. Today, of course with extensive use of foam coring in decks, painting them dark blue would result in decks feeling like a Sealy Posturepedic.

Showing Colors

Of course, there have been exceptions. Malcolm Forbes senior comes to mind. He had the guts to paint his last “Highlander” dark green which certainly raised some highbrow eyebrows at the New York Yacht Club. Valentino had a 152-footer that was dark blue. “Carinthia VI” was dark blue when she was built in 1973 (a radical move back then). Queen Liz’s little 412-foot motorboat is also painted deep blue.

Finally, Sabre must be commended for being one of the very builders offering few larger production dark hulls. But, remember, these are exceptions.

Since 1966 when Tom Fexas Yacht Design opened its doors, we have designed and launched hundreds of boats. I have always encouraged clients to “go color” but found precious few takers. All the “Midnight Laces” built were black because I personally pulled a Henry Ford (they hog to be black or the mystique would have been gone). 

There have been a few black custom vessels, a couple of grey boats, a big blue sport fish and a 80’ British racing green and tan craft, but that’s about it. Sadly, today, most boats are all white. White as a pile of snow. White as a bright light. White as a Baskin Robins store. Combining white hulls, white decks and white superstructures produces a bland, boring appearance similar to wearing a white tie with a white shirt and white suit (which may be alright if your name is Rocco ND you wear your nose on the side of your face).

So, what the hell! Pull out your color charts and go for it! We all don’t drive white cars, wear white clothes or live in white houses. Why should we all have white boats? You will never again have to search for your boat in a marina and you will never be accused of following the crowd.

Best of all, you will be blowing a big, wet raspberry at the stuffy marine establishment.

(Reprinted with permission of Regina Fexas.)

If you would like to read more of Tom's pearls of wisdom, tune in next Friday -- "Fexas Friday." 

Better yet, why not get a full dose of infectious Fexas whenever you need it -- and buy one of the volumes below.  Better yet, why not buy all of them -- we call them the "Fexas Five." They will provide many evenings of fun reading (better than Netflix), and you'll make the widow Regina very happy knowing that Tom will live on with you the way most of us remember him. 

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